The gang is back and while they're maybe not better than ever, they are definitely better than this time last year, which opens the door for all manner of hilarity. For last night's premiere the writers went with a few of the things they know already work so well for this show and used those to reach new heights of ridiculous antics. We saw Frank achieving maximum grossness in his relationship with Roxy, a crack-smoking hooker (literally though), and his plan to propose to her so that she would only sleep with him (don't worry, he assured her that she would continue to be paid). We also saw Dennis try to save the gang from becoming the "gross crew" (you're about two years too late on that one, amigo), and staging an intervention for Mac, who has put on an astonishing 50 pounds that he fervently insists is muscle mass. Dee and Charlie were up to their own various escapades, with Dee first pitching the idea of getting a pit bull for Paddy's pub and then attempting to give Roxy a makeover; and Charlie scheming (for reasons I can't quite remember) with Frank to convince a woman that he is a millionaire.
How did it all shake out? Well, Dennis and Mac made a trip to the doctor and found out that not only has Mac developed Type-2 diabetes, but Dennis is not nearly as healthy as he thought. The two bond over chimichangas, which Mac now apparently carries around in a trash bag at all times, and Dennis tries to cut back on his self-deprivation. I really liked Mac offering up his insulin like a party drug when Dennis seemed down, and Dennis' subsequent realization that what he really wanted was some crack, which as we know he and Dee had a previous addiction. Dee did not manage to successfully make-over Roxy, but she did learn that she may have a potential career in dealing with foot fetishists, and she delivered Roxy just in time for Frank's proposal. Charlie's millionaire gambit was by far the funniest, though-- so many factors that weren't funny independently came together to make this a true achievement in absurdity. First, his ridiculous "Texan" accent, and him wearing the denim he had found in a box under a bridge (don't worry, he boiled it first!). Second, the blood incident. I can't even really describe how disgusting this was, but Charlie's explanation should give you some idea: he wanted to fake coughing up a little blood to make his fake illness realistic, and so swallowed "a bunch" of blood capsules, resulting in a projectile regurgitation of both blood and vomit and one of my favorite lines of the night ("I have a touch of consumption").
By the time all the dust has settled from these various goings-on, it's time for Frank's proposal, set at his and Charlie's apartment. Dennis and Mac dress for the occasion in comfy shirts designed to "hide their fatness", and Charlie is covered in blood. Just when you think it can't get any more romantic, Frank praises Roxy's abilities as a whore and asks her to be his wife, at which point she keels over and dies (not. joking.). Now, because it would obviously bad for the authorities to discover a dead hooker in Charlie's apartment, the gang decides to dispose of her body in the hallway and then phone in an anonymous tip, from a pay phone. "Pretty Woman" then closes out the episode as the gang ditches the corpse of Frank's would-be fiancee.
Overall, this premiere has about as much crassness as we've all come to expect from this show, and then some. I look forward to the gang's continued adventures which, as Dennis divined, are likely to get increasingly extreme (and gross). Welcome back, guys.
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