Critical Decision Time: Part 1 of the Most Ridiculous Series You Will Ever Maybe Read

As I settle into the relative monotony of adulthood (and the slow, steep slope toward the time when my elderly person tendencies will become socially acceptable), many important questions make themselves known to me.  What do I want to do with my life, you know, on the chance that my pipe dream of becoming a novelist fails to pan out? (Jury's still out on that one.)  Am I employable?  (So far, survey says NO.)  What am I doing to be the best possible version of myself?  (Um...does having lots and lots of fleeting, halfhearted ambitions count?)

But (probably) most important of all:  Do I need to watch the Star Wars movies?

Laugh if you want; I am at least 40% serious.  I, as a devout connoisseur of all things film and media, have never seen the original three Star Wars films.  I know, I know, it doesn't add up.  "Andrea," you say, "Aren't you a huge nerd?  Then it follows than you can't possibly have missed out on this huge piece of nerd culture!"  But I have defied logic for over 23 years, and have never even attempted to watch one of the films from beginning to end.  Given my current wealth of free time, it would make sense to set aside a few hours for this momentous viewing; however I've recently found myself wondering, will it be worth the effort?

Think about it. If I want the full experience I'll have to track down the films on DVD rather than waiting for them to show up on TV.  And since they're old, not on Netflix, and I hate Blockbuster, I'm either going to have to go through the library or borrow them from someone who owns them (and I hate asking people to borrow their stuff, probably because I hate lending out my own...but that's for another time).  This will take time, energy, and effort on my part, and if these movies aren't everything I've ever heard them praised as, I'm going to be one deeply disappointed camper.  The arguments for and against are plentiful, but what I'm really looking for is the input of a Star Wars viewer (fan or otherwise) who can guide me to the right decision, and settle this question once and for all.  Here are some of my considerations:


I already know a lot of the story details.  This is just how popular culture works, especially with the explosion of the Internet and the fascination with being "Meta" in film and television.  I know Luke and Leia are brother and sister, and that Darth Vader is their father.  I know that Han Solo is kind of a tool, but that he's also one of the heroes of the story.  I know that Yoda's syntax is weird and I will probably hate listening to him talk.  I know that something called the Millenium Falcon and something else called the Death Star come into play at some point.  I know that "the Force" is something very powerful and almost as cool as having magical powers.  And I know that it's really hard to decide based solely on Google Images photos whether ewoks are cute or creepy.

They're old.  I'm not completely against watching a film that was made before I was born, because a lot of them are darn good.  Unfortunately, there are also a lot that are darn terrible.  And I may not be an expert on CGI or any other such nonsense, but I'd hazard a guess that the special effects in these films are shoddy looking at best, laughable at worst. It's also set in space, and was written prior to a lot of knowledge we've acquired since.  I mean, are they going to reference Pluto as still being a planet?  (Because that'll just be heartbreaking.)

They're important.  Like it or not, Star Wars is part of cultural canon.  And I am definitely a person who hates being out of the loop on frequently made references.  So maybe I owe it to myself to just suck it up and endure six hours of a potentially ridiculous story in the hope of filling in some of the gaps in my mental pop culture encyclopedia.

Hype.  This could go either way.  I've heard so many rave reviews of these films from all corners that it seems impossible they could be less than amazing.  However, that's just it-- what if all the hype has made it impossible for these movies to reach my expectations?  I'm expecting a lot from these films based on the derision I've endured at my admittance that I've never watched them, and the idea that this anticipation might backfire is, well...it's annoying.


Random reasons that probably aren't important to anyone other than me.  (1)  I have been told on a couple of occasions that I have a kind of resemblance to Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia (and no, it was never clarified if this was an appearance or personality based comparison, but I'm guessing the latter), and I'd be interested to know if I was being complimented or insulted.  (2)  I think watching it might shut up some of the fellow nerds in my life who've been appalled by the revelation that I've never seen these films.  (3) Last, but certainly not least, if I see all three of the original Star Wars films, I will be able to more successfully and accurately make my case that the Harry Potter books/films are, in fact, far superior.

So is this something I need to do to enrich my probably unnecessary knowledge of popular culture?  Or is this something that, once I've gone more than 2 decades without experiencing them, I can simply continue to let slide?  Can I coast by on my limited knowledge of the most well-known factoids and trivia indefinitely?  This decision may not be weighty, but I feel a need for a justification either way.  And let's face it, I'm not making any other life-changing choices at the moment, but that's no reason to break the habit of considering things from all angles.

Oh, and one last factor.  I did see whichever of the new movies was released in about 1999 or thereabouts, and it was awful.  I've been told, however, that this is irrelevant to my enjoyment of the original saga.  Fact or fiction?