Ruined for Life: 5 Fictional Men I Fell in Love with and Never Forgot

Come on ladies, we've all done it.  Whatever the medium, whether it was during our giggly pre-teen days or as recently as last week's episode of our favorite show, we have fallen for that perfect imaginary guy, the one who seems to have been designed specifically for you to swoon over.  Some of them were chivalrous, a throw-back to some old idealized notion of what it is to be a gentleman; others made us laugh so hard our stomachs hurt; and some were just plain adorable.  The one sad factor they all had in common?  We'll never, ever get to meet them in real life.  Here's to five of my personal favorite men, the ones who have set the bar (in all likelihood) way too high.

1.  Jim Halpert


To this day I cannot fathom how Pam Beesly stayed engaged to Roy as long as she did, when this awkward yet charming male specimen was sitting ten feet from her desk every day.  For me, the term "adorkable" doesn't originate with Zooey Deschanel but with Jim, who had all the sincerity and none of the confidence, and who was the star of one of my all-time favorite unrequited love stories (never mind that it was later requited and they did, in fact, live happily ever after).  It doesn't hurt, either, that John Krasinski is a beautiful, hilarious man who seems every bit as down-to-earth as his character.

But it wasn't just his bumbling romantic ventures that made Jim so appealing to me.  He is a genuine optimist, even when things just seem downright crappy.  Even in his lowest moments, such as his decision to leave the Scranton office, he has resolved to make the best of it, confessing his feelings to Pam (not with ulterior motive, but just because "...I wanted you to know...once"), and later befriending his new co-workers.  And despite his insistence in season one that he didn't want his job at Dunder-Mifflin to become his career, he has grown and embraced his role at the office and has matured perhaps more than any other character on the show.

It also doesn't hurt that he's only gotten cuter every single season.

2.  Chandler Bing

I think I always liked Chandler the most because he reminded me the most of myself (that might seem like a weird thing to say, given that I also felt attracted to him, but whatever).  He is the self-appointed "funny guy" in any situation, and for a lot of the first episodes of the show the writers seemed to keep him in that box without really exploring what else there was to know about him.  But as we later saw, there was a lot more than just sarcasm and jokes under the surface. 

Chandler had some considerable baggage (most great characters do), and a lack of confidence that kept him from a committed relationship with anyone likeable.  Until season four, of course, when his friendship with Monica escalated into something almost nobody expected, including the two of them.  For me this pairing always made more sense than any other combination of people within the famous sextet, including Ross and Rachel.  Chandler in particular seemed to really need the strong foundation that he and Monica had as friends in order to let go of his almost innumerable intimacy issues, and what is great about this romance is that neither of their individual characters got lost in the shuffle of the relationship (something again that I think Ross and Rachel were guilty of).

Funny guys have always been my type; generally, if you can make me laugh, it's very hard for me to write you off.  But what I loved most about this character was that he had the best maturation of the characters over the course of ten seasons.  Chandler always wanted to be the good guy and for the most part he was, the only one who couldn't see it was him.

3.  Floyd

First of all, was it ever established whether Floyd has a last name?  If it has, I have not been able to track it down. Anyway, for me Floyd will always be Liz Lemon's "one that got away," no matter who she meets or whether she ultimately realizes she's better off alone.  The man wanted her to move to Cleveland with him, for goodness' sake! 

It might seem strange that this character has managed to stick on my radar despite only appearing in a minor arc in season one and assorted later episodes, in one of which Liz attended his wedding to another woman, but to this day Floyd remains one of my favorite characters in the history of 30 Rock.
For a show that thrives on caricatures for a lot of its humor (Kenneth the page and Jenna Maroney come immediately to mind), it was refreshing to see a love interest for Liz emerge who was so realistically drawn.  Floyd was not a heartthrob but instead was dorky-cute and kind of awkward, which of course made him perfect for Liz.  He also had some flaws.  He was a recovering alcoholic and he definitely had some douche-y moments, particularly after his breakup with Liz, but just like any of us, he was trying to be better.  It never felt like there was a balance of power to be shifted in his relationship with Liz; they seemed to be on a level with each other and happy to keep it that way.

Also, Floyd's idea of an awesome date included watching movies at home, eating pizza, and playing card games.  He definitely earned a few points in my book for that.

4.  Shawn Hunter

Yes, if we're going to pick eligible men from the wonder that was Boy Meets World, Cory probably would've been the safest choice.  Heck, even dim-witted Eric or Jack, who came along later, might have been more solid options.  But no girl can really resist a charming bad-boy, and as a pre-teen I was no exception.  Shawn had it all:  he was broody-cute with that hair and those lips, a little bit edgy and damaged, and most importantly, he was one half of one of the greatest bromances to ever grace our television sets.

Shawn might also seem a surprising choice because of his reputation in the early seasons of the show as somewhat promiscuous.  While Cory and Topanga seemed destined for forever from the start, Shawn broke his fair share of hearts, and for a long time didn't really seem to care.  We got a glimpse at the possibility of a new, deep and sensitive Shawn at the beginning of his romance with Angela (who, by the way, seemed to fall from the sky into their school, despite Shawn's claim that they were friends before), when he decided that he wanted a relationship more like that of his two best friends.  Was this a realistic plot line for a high school kid who'd been getting around since hitting puberty?  Probably not.  But did it make those of us who'd had our doubts about Shawn finally cave and admit we loved him?  You bet it did.  We liked the idea that we could essentially have the best of both worlds:  the vaguely dangerous boy in need of repair and the thinking dude who listened to Vivaldi and loved the same poetry as us.  Looking back, this was probably the height of impossibility, but if there was any show that specialized in heightened expectations for life, it was Boy Meets World.

*Also, it should be noted that there is a large community of devoted Boy Meets World appreciation blogs still kicking around the Internet today, almost 12 years after it left the air.  It's really kind of impressive.

5.  Neville Longbottom

First, it should be stated that I'm not one of those girls who jumped on the bandwagon because Matthew Lewis "got hot."  Neville has been on my radar since the first time I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, when he proved that just because you're not tight with the popular kids, you're not completely useless (especially when there's a sinister plot unraveling inside your school), which was a lesson my ten year old self needed to learn. My heart still smiles when he earns those last ten points for Gryffindor and secures the championship. 

I always thought Neville was one of the most compelling characters, maybe because for the first few books we knew so little about him.  Harry wrote him off as the nerdy kid, and though he was never really unkind to Neville, he didn't make an effort to get to know him, and as a consequence, neither did we.  But a storm of information about Neville began emerging in books four and five, revealing that this awkward, insecure kid was that way for a reason.  Neville has parents, but he'd almost be better off if they were dead like Harry's:  tortured into insanity, they function almost like small children, unable to speak or recognize their own son.  On top of that, Neville grew up with his grandmother, who apparently spent every available opportunity telling him he wasn't good enough.  By the time Neville joined Dumbledore's army and showed his determination to fight back against Voldemort despite his limitations, it was clear that Neville might be unimpressive at first sight, but he was not to be underestimated.

Needless to say, I was already pretty enamored with Neville before the explosion of badassery that takes place in the final novel, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.  Not only is Neville one of the key leaders of the rebellion at Hogwarts in Harry's absence, he is among the first willing to put his life on the line during battle, and does Harry the not insignificant favor of destroying Voldemort's last horcrux.  Neville's bravery in the face of certain doom at the moment when everyone thinks Harry is dead and all hope has been lost cemented him forever in my heart as a hero.

Also, it should be noted that I always thought Matthew Lewis was a cutie, and his was one of the franchise's most spot-on castings.