The First Step is Admitting There's a Problem: Why We Need to Build a New America

I'd like to share a scene from "The Newsroom" that feels just as relevant today as it did two years ago when it aired. This is the very first scene from the very first episode, and you can watch it at this link if  you'd prefer watching it to reading.

A student asks what makes America the world's greatest country, and Will dodges the question with glib answers. But the moderator keeps needling him until...snap.

Will
It's not the greatest country in the world, professor, that's my answer.

Moderator
[pause] You're saying—

Will
Yes.

Moderator
Let's talk about—

Will
Fine. [to the liberal panelist] Sharon, the NEA is a loser. Yeah, it accounts for a penny out of our paychecks, but he [gesturing to the conservative panelist] gets to hit you with it anytime he wants. It doesn't cost money, it costs votes. It costs airtime and column inches. You know why people don't like liberals? Because they lose. If liberals are so fuckin' smart, how come they lose so GODDAMN ALWAYS?

And [to the conservative panelist] with a straight face, you're going to tell students that America's so star-spangled awesome that we're the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom, Japan has freedom, the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom. Two hundred seven sovereign states in the world, like 180 of them have freedom.

And you—sorority girl—yeah—just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there are some things you should know, and one of them is that there is absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we're the greatest country in the world. We're seventh in literacy, twenty-seventh in math, twenty-second in science, forty-ninth in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, third in median household income, number four in labor force, and number four in exports. We lead the world in only three categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next twenty-six countries combined, twenty-five of whom are allies. None of this is the fault of a 20-year-old college student, but you, nonetheless, are without a doubt, a member of the WORST-period-GENERATION-period-EVER-period, so when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about?! Yosemite?!!!

We sure used to be. We stood up for what was right! We fought for moral reasons, we passed and struck down laws for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were, and we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and cultivated the world's greatest artists and the world's greatest economy. We reached for the stars, and we acted like men. We aspired to intelligence; we didn't belittle it; it didn't make us feel inferior. We didn't identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election, and we didn't scare so easy. And we were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one—America is not the greatest country in the world anymore.

Will's right - well, Aaron Sorkin is right. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore. The case could reasonably made that it never truly was. But he's also right that it can be. It has the potential. We have people who are smart, who are brave, who are compassionate, and we have them in droves. They just don't seem to align recently with the cardboard cutout of who and what our culture values. They don't seem to have the voice or the power they ought to, and in an unfortunately growing number of cases, they lack the energy to do anything but fall in line, to keep quiet and allow the status quo to persevere.

We have to be better. We have to pay attention, and we have to speak up when we see injustice being done. I'm getting really and truly sick of people who proudly say "oh, I don't care about politics" or "I don't watch the news" like these things are some passing fad. Believing that is a mistake, and a dangerous one. The only way to change things for the better is to participate, to care. These are the conversations and the elections and the stories that will determine what this country IS  for the duration of the time we'll spend here. Doesn't that merit at least a fraction of the attention we give to celebrity gossip or our local sports franchise?

Maybe I sound self-righteous, or judgmental. But that's because I've made a life of actively striving to not bury my head in the sand, and the way this country works, the votes of those who do choose ignorance carry exactly the same weight as mine. I love that about America, the idea that we might all - in theory, at least - get an equal say, but that doesn't mean I want to stand by and watch that opportunity be squandered.

There is a reality that has taken hold in the United States of America in 2014 that the majority of us are flat-out ignoring, even though it's right in front of our faces. Equality, the kind the founding fathers dreamed about and the kind people from all over their globes risked their lives to come here seeking, is crippled, on the verge of extinction. It's slipping away, and for the most part we're letting it. We as a nation are content to wander around with our eyes closed and our hands down our pants, more concerned about this week's eliminated contestant on The Voice than the fact that innocent men and women are being killed by the people who are supposed to exist to protect and serve us. The knee-jerk reaction is to assume that the victim must have had it coming, or that there has to be a justification, because we'd rather not fathom the possibility that someone in a position of authority is capable of truly monstrous behavior.

I'm not going to debate the Mike Brown or Eric Garner cases here (though for the record I am appalled at the lack of even an indictment in either case), not because I think I'd lose or because I know I'd open an entire can of ignorance-soaked worms on my social media outlets, but because it isn't my tragedy. I am a white woman, and as such will never ever be able to fully comprehend the horror of what's happening to African Americans in this country, the terror that must exist in knowing you can be targeted at any moment and that the perpetrator will, in all likelihood, walk away without punishment. I'm an ally in this fight, and I stand beside the protesters and individuals who continue to lead brave and vital discussions on these topics; but I lack the authority of personal experience. I can say there is no question in my mind that we need some serious changes in this country, both in terms of race relations and in terms of establishing once and for all who watches the watchers, and ensuring they do their job in a manner that doesn't cost innocent lives.

Will said it in the speech above, and it's one of the founding principles of any recovery program worth its salt:  the first step is admitting that you have a problem. America, we have a problem.

A lot of people might think I lack patriotism, that I hate America and that's why I'm constantly criticizing it. That actually isn't true at all. I love America, but I love it the way Will McAvoy loves it - for all that it has the potential to be, rather than what it currently is. We can create a world in which equality exists, in which we celebrate our differences but don't allow them to overrule our comprehension of the basic rules of right and wrong. It's possible to do that, it really is. But we can't do it in one day (we haven't been able to do it in multiple generations, after all), and it'll be hard work. At its core, though, America has the tools to do this. We have the power to change our laws and to influence the way this country treats its citizens, no matter who they are or what they look like.

I'm not exempting myself from this. We have to tug ourselves out of this apathetic hole we've fallen into, and it's hard to listen to bad news day in and day out without feeling discouraged. I know it would be easier to stay at home under the covers finding out which Kardashian is getting divorced or pregnant this week, but I can't do that. I can't sit still anymore knowing that these kinds of injustices are becoming the norm in the country.

I guess this is my promise to stay awake, to pay careful attention and spread as much factual and helpful information as possible, and to do whatever I can to keep fighting the good fight. My congresspeople will be hearing from me - hell, I'll send a letter a week if I have to until something budges, and I will not be silent. If we can bring ourselves to care, and we can push ourselves to stand up and speak out, someone eventually has to listen.

Let's stop pretending America is the greatest country in the world when it clearly has such a long way to go, and instead force it to become that country, in reality, once and for all.

Women's Month 2014: Banning Bossy, Finding Role Models, and Shaping Our Future

By now you've probably heard about the Ban Bossy campaign, an effort launched this month co-sponsored by the Girl Scouts of America and LeanIn.org. The campaign is an attempt to subvert the ways we as a society regard young females who show an interest in leadership. 'Bossy' in and of itself isn't a negative word, though; the problem lies in how it's used. Bossy has come to serve as a stand-in for words much worse, a seemingly innocuous pejorative that in fact discourages and intimidates girls who might otherwise speak up. It's one of the myriad tiny ways we instruct young women to be seen and not heard, to be submissive and gentle rather than brave and outspoken. And it has to stop.

Naturally, there's been a bit of pushback against the campaign by those who would continue to adhere to the status quo, casting Ban Bossy as an overreaction or exaggeration on the part of women. The prevalent argument among men, however, smacks simultaneously of laziness and ignorance--something along the lines of 'oh what, now there's another word we can't use? Where does it stop?!'

Here's the thing about that, though:  thinking twice about the words you use before you use them is literally the least you can do in the fight for gender equality. No, you're not being oppressed when we ask you to consider that maybe conditioning little girls to view themselves in such a negative light isn't the most positive way to introduce them into grown-up society, especially when that society will graduate into referring to these same little girls as "bitches" and "cunts" when they attempt to take on leadership roles as adults.

If you're really adamant that dropping one word in a singular context from your vocabulary is too darn difficult, fear not. There are other minute changes you can and should make in the way you speak, the way you interact with other humans and the way you see the world that can make things better for women, which will ultimately make things better for everyone. These are little ways that sexism has become ingrained in our society, and the only way we'll ever dispose of them is by policing ourselves first. And don't go thinking this is simply a list of tips for men--ladies can be equally and occasionally guiltier of committing these crimes against the female gender.

1. To quote the fabulous Tina Fey: "...stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores." Now, while Tina and I may differ on this premise of it ever being "okay" for men to call women these names, the larger point is that we need to seriously reconsider the language we use when we talk or even think about women. I challenge you, as I've challenged myself, to take a tally of the number of times you mentally call a woman who has vaguely slighted you (or who is simply wearing an irritated expression) a 'bitch.' Count how many times you make a split-second decision that some girl is a 'slut' simply because she dresses less conservatively than you do. Ask yourself, and answer honestly, if you've ever shamed another female about her body, her assertive personality, or her sexual activities. If you're like me, you haven't been perfect on this front. You've transgressed perhaps more times than you'd like to admit. But awareness is the first step. Ask yourself why you jump to using these words, and try to justify why they're necessary (spoiler alert: they're not). It'll take awhile, but eventually these words won't be the first ones that spring to mind, and if they aren't in your thoughts, they won't be on your lips.

2.  In a similar vein, think about how frequently we as a culture choose to insult others, but most especially women, based on their appearances rather than on the situation at hand. If I hear one more criticism of Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama that discusses their clothing or hair rather than their accomplishments, I will scream. I'm appalled to say that I've literally (and more than once) heard arguments settled with the words "yeah, but (s)he's fat" as an explanation for not respecting someone. No, women are not the only targets of these types of attacks (the endless onslaught of Chris Christie fat jokes also springs to mind here), but it cannot be denied that when the person being discussed or criticized is a woman, people are much quicker to go to the appearance-based insults well. Stop being surprised that Melissa McCarthy is funny despite her full figure, that Sarah Jessica Parker is wildly successful despite her "horsey" face, that Lady Gaga is talented despite dressing unconventionally, and instead appreciate the work they do. Just because someone's appearance doesn't fit your narrow frame of beauty doesn't make them ugly, and it has nothing to do with their ability to excel in their field.

3.  Quick, think of someone whom you believe encompasses an "empowered female role model" in current popular culture. Did someone like Katniss Everdeen or Arya Stark spring to mind? How about Leslie Knope, or Liz Lemon?  Katy Perry? Ke$ha? How about Honey Boo-Boo, or the Kardashians? What if I told you every single one of these answers is the right one, and that there are infinite others you could've given that would have been just as correct? It's true--empowerment is one of those qualities that never looks identical on any two people. All of these fabulous ladies are brave, intelligent, ballsy, and kind; the difference lies simply in how they meet those criteria. The picture of an empowered woman comes in myriad forms (even ones you may not recognize at first) and is as ever-changing as our modern culture. We need to stop pigeonholing the idea of female role models into rigid parameters that can't ever be re-negotiated. Katniss is allowed to fall in love and still be badass; Ke$ha is allowed to sing party songs and still be intelligent; Kim Kardashian is allowed to be US Weekly's favorite subject while simultaneously being one of the more charitable celebs in Hollywood. These women are all to be admired, and I'd be willing to bet that they've all been referred to as "bossy" (or worse) at least once.

I could continue this list for days, cataloging all the baby steps we can take to make things better for women. I could tell you that in the grand scheme of things, banning 'bossy' is something that stands to reap a huge benefit at the cost of almost zero effort on our parts. The Ban Bossy campaign, like most feminist campaigns in this vein, isn't asking you for much at all:  they're simply asking you to think before you speak. And that's something we could all stand to do more often.

Decking the Halls Before the Snow Falls: A Defense of Early Holiday Celebrations

This is a topic on which the majority of folks will either wholeheartedly agree or disagree with me.  There's really no middle ground to be found when it comes to the age-old debate over just how early one ought to launch into a full-scale celebration of Christmas.  I've heard the arguments on both sides, and I can understand even the people who are most militantly against the mere mention of reindeer, sleigh bells, and old St. Nick prior to December 24th (maybe the 23rd if they're feeling extra generous).  However, I think these views are far too heavily influence by the presence of holiday hoopla in the media and most particularly in advertising, with commercials promoting Christmas specials have been known to appear before people have even decided on their Halloween costumes.  I'd therefore like to present a defense, an appeal of sorts, really, on behalf of those of us who like to get in the holiday spirit as early as possible each year. 

My reasons for embracing the spirit of the season early and fervently are primarily personal, but I think I'm right in assuming I'm not alone in many of them.  For me the biggest factor is the unrelenting stress and dreariness of much of the rest of the year.  So many days fly past without any of us taking pause to just breathe and enjoy the simple beauty of something like the weather, or the way the city looks at night.  For some reason, these things become so much more acceptable and even expected once snow has made its first appearance, or once the Christmas lights and decorations have been hung.  I've always found that people are almost inadvertently kinder, more patient the nearer we draw to the big day (I am of course exempting shopping malls on Black Friday, that is a beast entirely its own), and I absolutely thrive on it. For a few weeks of the year, it really does feel like maybe, just maybe, we're all in this together.  And can you really blame a girl for wanting to prolong that feeling as long as possible?

There are other, more specific benefits to the little features of the holiday season.  Christmas music may be repetitive and sometimes over the top, but it's also soothing in its familiarity, and in the overall sentiment found in most of its lyrics.  I will take wishes for peace on earth and good will toward men, decking the halls and sleeping in heavenly peace over angry, hyper-sexualized Top 40 tunes any day of the week.  And while there are some singers for whom a holiday album is a grievous offense against humanity (Bieber, I'm looking directly at you), I challenge you to listen to Vince Guaraldi or Sufjan Stevens' holiday tunes and tell me honestly that they don't warm your heart just a bit.

Gift giving is another one of my favorite things about Christmas.  It has always made me happier to see the smile on someone's face opening a gift from me than receiving anything of my own.  I love shopping for my friends and family, challenging myself to find the gift that fits them best.  It's like a yearly test of how well you know your loved ones, and ever the over-achiever, I always strive for a perfect score.  And ignoring some of the tedious logistics of the actual shopping (the mall can actually be a pain-free experience if you're careful about choosing non-peak hours and days, and if you have clear objectives in mind before setting foot inside), buying the gifts is just plain fun.

I could go on forever about the joys of things like holiday movies (I will argue till my death that Love Actually is legitimately the best rom-com of the last 20 years), holiday foods, sending holiday cards, and experiencing the tranquil beauty of a white Christmas, but I won't.  What I will say is that even if you are something of a Grinch when it comes to celebrating prior to Thanksgiving, you should still respect that some of us are just trying to make the joy last as long as we can.  We won't force you to sing along to our favorite carols with us (we won't even make you listen to them if you don't want to, because that wouldn't be a very nice thing to do), but please don't try to make us all out to be overzealous consumer-bots who only respond to early holiday stimuli supplied for us by big business and the media. The holidays are a time to remember our capacity for generosity and kindness toward our fellow man, and like it or not, that includes you too.

And hey, Thanksgiving?  When you come out with some awesome music/movies/decorations/traditions other than eating my weight in food for your day, maybe we'll be less inclined to count it as merely a step on the way to the real event.  Ball's really in your court on this one.

The Summer Reading Run-Down

All the proverbial dust has settled (save for the dust in my temporary bedroom, which has collected considerably in my absence), and all the graduation craziness is finally over.  That means a lot of things, but one of the better ones is this:  it's summer reading time!

I like to hold myself accountable by posting a list/telling people what I'm planning on reading.  I actually read the majority of last summer's list and reviewed a few of the books on my Tumblr, so this seems like  a tradition to continue.  Additionally, it's amusing (probably only to me) that my blogging goes through phases based on the availability of television.  I probably won't write about my usual shows (unless some kind of crazy news breaks) until they come back in September, which leaves much more time and energy for slightly more cultured things.  (I'm using the term "cultured" loosely, as it will refer primarily to me reading books and perhaps visiting parks.)

Here it is:
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (series, and at the insistence of my sister, who won't shut up about them)
Notes from Underground
The Idiot
100 Years of Solitude
His Dark Materials (series)
A Tale of Two Cities
Things Fall Apart
Dead Souls
Sons and Lovers
Remembrance of Things Past
Infinite Jest
Freedom
Middlemarch
Madame Bovary
The Last Tycoon

Naturally, this is only the first chunk of a much larger list (I am an English major, after all), so in the miraculous event that I make it through all of these in a timely fashion, I'll be updating promptly with more titles.  And of course, I am forever open to new suggestions to add to the list!

Where Have All the Good Stories Gone? (2/2011)

 In a month when I’ve been hit with the unfortunate news that two members of the “Jersey Shore” cast have or will be publishing books in the coming months, I’m forced to wonder whether we have in fact hit out literary rock bottom as a society.  It’s discouraging to say the least to walk through a bookstore and realize that some of the bestselling “authors” are in fact some of reality television and celebrity gossip’s biggest stars.  And what makes it sting all the more is reading good literature on my own time and knowing that most of my peers, and probably even fewer of those younger than myself, will ever get to know the beauty that is traditional English literature.
I recently completed my journey through the Jane Austen collection. Mansfield Park and Northanger Abbey were the last two on my list, and once I’d read one I couldn’t wait to pick up the other.  I promised myself that, because Austen’s novels are so wonderful and few, I would wait as long as possible between books so as to put off the moment when I realized there was nothing left of her magnificent prose to read.  That the library happened to have both of these two books available simultaneously seemed serendipitous, though, so I broke my own rule and devoured both novels in the course of ten days.
The results were as I anticipated:  I was sucked into the vivid nineteenth century world that Austen paints so effectively, sympathizing with characters with whom I would never think I had anything in common, and even more uncharacteristic for me, I rooted for their happy ending to the very last pages.  It’s just the magic that her books work on me— I fall into them so wholly that I lose sight of the fact that none of it should be relatable for me, but I don’t care.
I wish more of today’s writers could be like that, could have that kind of influence over me.  I wish any of today’s writers, especially today’s popular writers, could invoke the kind of feeling I get when I read Jane Austen, and could invoke it in kids who are slaves to the Internet and television, kids who’ve been bred to care about nothing other than themselves.  I wish there were still high standards for what passes as literature in today’s market.  I think about how hard Jane Austen must have worked and how hard she must have fought to get her words read, and it makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed to see the bullshit in the front of Barnes & Noble, vapid celebrity faces grinning at me, like they know exactly who they’re taking the opportunity away from, and relish it.
Maybe this bitterness comes from my own aspirations, but I think I’d be irked either way.  Just because someone is famous doesn’t mean they are necessarily good at anything (even the thing they purport to “do” for a living), and we should stop throwing our attention at people just because they’re good-looking, or worse, stupid.