Well, here I am. Less than 3 weeks till I'm a college graduate and till I'm on a plane back to Chicago, leaving behind so much of what I've gained over the past four years. It feels like there's no good way to describe this rush of feelings, no way to truly encompass everything that's been going through my head. Everything feels bittersweet and almost impossible to categorize-- every event, every outing and experience is fun and wonderful because I'm with the people I love most in the world, but everything also feels tinged by the ever-present knowledge that very soon I won't be. Every conversation I have with someone from here on out could be one of the last, every time I visit my favorite haunts might be the time when I ought to be taking a mental snapshot, lest I forget the details of what it looks, sounds, and feels like.
Of course, this has prompted a shift in the music I've been listening to (but then again, it doesn't take much for that to happen). The point is, I've been discovering more and more songs lately that seem to speak to this weird feeling in my chest, the overwhelming idea that something's ending and that I've got to grab hold of every second of joy that I can before that time comes. These are just a sampling of the songs that have been my soundtrack during this time of transition, of goodbyes and attempts at making plans and new hopes.
Run -- Snow Patrol
One of my all-time favorite songs (and the all-time most played song on my Ipod, fun fact). It's just such a poignant song about leaving, specifically leaving the one you love. For me graduating and leaving Seattle doesn't carry quite the gravity this song does, but I can't omit it from this list because it is so wrapped up in the idea of change for me, of transition and of the power the people you love have over you. Also, there will never come a time when that epic instrumental portion just before the song wraps up doesn't blow my mind.
23 -- Jimmy Eat World
If I had to pick a song that most accurately sums up my feelings toward this upcoming transition in my life, this one is a definite contender. This is just a fantastic song about the weirdness of being this age (I'm not 23 but I'm close enough, and I more than understand the sentiment), not knowing where things are going to go and feeling just a little bit out of control in the face of how fast life is passing you by. It also has a great message about going after what you want: "You'll sail alone forever if you wait for the right time/ What are you hoping for?" That line just strikes me in a fresh way each time I hear it, and it reminds me of the need I have to evaluate what, exactly, I'm hoping for, and how I can reach it.
American Pie -- Don McLean
Not only is this a great story-song, but it expresses so much of what I think everyone feels on the precipice of a major life change. McLean isn't excessively emphatic about it, but he's clearly devastated by the tumultuous times in which he finds himself, and regardless of whether you can appreciate the actual events he's singing about, chances are you can relate to the feeling behind it. I know I can-- this is the kind of song that makes me wish I were a songwriter, so that I could encompass my feelings so flawlessly in such a versatile format.
I Must Belong Somewhere -- Bright Eyes
Love the catchy tune of this one, and the fantastic imagery. It's a great commentary, but it also lets the listener establish his own sense of place in the world. I like this as a "change" song because there's so much in it about the way some things will inevitably remain the same.
More Adventurous -- Rilo Kiley
I think the reason this song made the list (apart from the fact that Jenny Lewis is just downright marvelous), can be summed up in my favorite two lines:
"...With every broken heart we should become more adventurous"
"And [I] thought about how we are all as numerous as leaves on trees and maybe ours is the cause of all mankind-- get loved, make more, try to stay alive..."
In My Life -- The Beatles
"I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before/ I know I'll often stop and think about them..." This is one of my all-time favorite songs--short and to the point. Reflect on your life, and remember all the people, places, and events that have shaped it. This is a song that gives me motivation to move forward even into an uncertain future, because there are so many more memories to be made. And even if it's all downhill from here, I'll be able to carry the things I've loved with me wherever I go.
Wild World -- Cat Stevens
This song just gives me a kind of warm fuzzy feeling. It feels like a parent's kind-hearted, well-intentioned warning, filled with that distinct feeling of being cared for. Not to mention, something about Cat Stevens just gives me the feeling like a friend is singing to me, like he knows how afraid I am of the "real world" and wants me to feel better about it. If that's not a good enough reason to put it on the "change" playlist, I don't know what is.
Somewhere Only We Know -- Keane
This song is just fantastic. If Keane had never recorded anything ever again, or if it had all been awful, this song would have been enough of a contribution for them to forever have my respect and affection. There is something so beautiful about this song, about its imagery and its message, and it makes me feel better about damn near everything. This song makes me think of community, and of the value of shared experience, and shared memories.
Leaving Town Alive -- Bethany Joy Lenz
Little known song, but definitely a great little tune about the nature of change, and the little ways it impacts us. There is a sense of how much life can wear you down, but there is also the shadow of victory, of being able to weather it all so long as you let your heart rule you. It's about missed opportunities and letting those experiences teach you, guide you, so that you don't miss the next great chance that comes along.
100 Years -- Five for Fighting
One of several "life is short" songs on this list, because I think for me the notion of change and the idea of the fleetingness of time are very tightly linked. Just as this song flies by, the years of your life that John Ondrasik is singing about can pass you by in the same exciting, wonderful, painful blur. And if you're not careful, you might miss it. I'm hoping that when I'm "99 for a moment" I'll be able to look back on this part of my life as a time when I really did something, really put forth my best efforts and strongest energies to better the world around me.
Live Like We're Dying -- Kris Allen
I need to learn how to live the message of this song so much more fully. It resonates with me so strongly every time I hear it, and I want to be that person who embraces every moment of my life to the fullest, yet somehow I find myself coming up short. I know it's going to be especially tempting to just coast or kill time after graduation (particularly until I find a job), but I want to be very intentional about living each day with meaning, even if it feels like there isn't any.
No comments:
Post a Comment