Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Book Review: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (and Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling



This book is fabulous.  And yes, that really is the only and most appropriate adjective to describe it, because it came out of the mind of Mindy Kaling, which far surpasses me in genius but which in this book proves to look at the world in a startlingly similar way. 


Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? is a humorous anecdote-based half-memoir, half-manual for living in the vein of Tina Fey's similarly hilarious Bossypants, which I reviewed a few months ago.  Kaling has some similarly awkward tales from her past (I think it's probably no coincidence that I identify most with women who were extremely awkward in adolescence and didn't really come into their own until much later), but a bit of a different journey and stylistic tendencies.  It's hard to really sum up the book in a linear fashion, so I'd like to first implore you to read it at your earliest possible opportunity (it's a quick read, and I'm 99% sure you won't regret it), and then include some favorite passages and a little bit of rambling about why they're awesome.  Bear with me.

"Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me.  Do I envy Jennifer Hudson for being able to lose all that weight and look smokin' hot?  Of course, yes.  Do I sometimes look at Gisele Bundchen and wonder how awesome life would be if I never had to wear Spanx?  Duh, of course.  That's kind of the point of Gisele Bundchen."
She writes a whole lot about the experience of being a fat/chubby girl, which, as a formerly fat and currently chubby ("thick" if we're being generous) girl, I appreciate.  There's something uniquely tough about it (especially if you're like both Kaling and me in that you've tried many things to become acceptable looking) that those effortlessly skinny girls will just never be able to understand.  I appreciate her frankness, but more than that I appreciate her acceptance of her body (which, at a size 8, I don't consider fat at all, despite what Hollywood may think), not just for my own sake but for that of any impressionable younger women who might be reading this book.  I love that she says insulting her intellect or sense of humor would be a much graver offense than a comment about her weight, because I think it's important to have that level of perspective and confidence.


 The Entirety of the "Don't Peak in High School" Chapter
It's just so very accurate.  And hilarious.  Especially the bit about how she would re-write "Jack & Diane."


"...though I have the voice of an eleven-year-old girl, I have no natural rapport with children. I'm not one of those women who melts when a baby enters the room and immediately knows the right age-specific questions to ask. I always assume the wrong thing and offend someone.  "Does he speak yet?  Does what he says make sense, or is it still gurgle-babble?"  Also, I'm always worried I'm going to accidentally scratch the kid with my fingernail or something.  I'm the one who looks at the infant, smiles nervously, and as my contribution to small talk, robotically announces to the parent, "Your child looks healthy and well cared for."
I have almost this exact same reaction around children.  Except I'm usually not even courteous enough to try and ask questions about someone's baby. Just glad I'm not the only one.

The entire chapter detailing the "Matt & Ben" show,and her resulting big break
Because it's hilarious, and also how did I not know this existed?  

"Someone Explain a One Night Stands to Me"
Her concerns about going home for the night with a stranger are blunt and funny and absolutely valid.  I really like that she is unafraid to write this kind of criticism, especially when her own industry spends so much time glamorizing these kinds of often unwise encounters.  Also, in her mock conversation, I am absolutely the friend killing the recently-sexed friend's buzz by wondering about logistics and security measures.

"I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.  It's not because I have embarrassing playlists called "Setting the Mood for Sex-Time" or whatever.  My playlists are humiliating because my workout mixes have dorky titles like, "Go For It, Girl!" and "You Can Do It, Mindy!"  You might also see that some of my playlists are simply two songs on repeat fifteen times, like I'm a psycho getting pumped up to murder the president."
This.  I makes the world's most embarrassing playlists on my iPod, because they're all completely random, stream-of-consciousness compilations of the five songs I want to listen to at a given moment.  I then listen to the playlist on repeat for days (sometimes weeks) and promptly forget its existence.  And then I look back and just cringe at some of the combinations that have occurred because of this process.  Also, I'm admittedly something of a music snob, but when it comes to working out I am all about the terrible repetitive beats of Top 40.  Embarrassing, but true.

She also spends a long chapter talking about working on The Office which is mandatory for anyone who considers themselves even the remotest television nerd.  And after that she talks about a brief stint writing for SNL, which includes the first of two segments spent gushing about my all-time favorite funny lady (and person I think absolutely needs to write a book of her own, or five), Amy Poehler.

Kaling is a fantastic writer (just take a look at which episodes of The Office were penned by her for evidence), and the book is laugh out loud funny.  Seriously, people were giving me weird looks on the train.  And that, in my opinion, is the very best kind of book.

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